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Tuesday, November 24, 2015

[1995] [Batman Forever] English Transcripts

(1) Can I persuade you to take a sandwich?
(2) I'll get drive-through.
(3) You're counting on the Winged Avenger to deliver you from evil...
(4) ...aren't you, my friend?
(5) Are you going to kill me?
(6) Maybe, maybe not. We're of two minds on the subject.
(7) Are you a gambling man?
(8) Let's say we flip for it?
(9) One man is born a hero, his brother a coward.
(10) Babies starve, politicians grow fat...
(11) ...holy men are martyred, and junkies grow legion.
(12) Why?
(13) Why, why, why, why, why?
(14) Luck!
(15) Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah...
(16) ...clueless luck!
(17) The random toss...
(18) the only true justice.
(19) Let's see what justice has in store...
(20) ...for you.
(21) It's like the touch of God.
(22) Wait, wait, wait.
(23) Fortune smiles. Another day of wine and roses.
(24) In your case, beer and pizza.
(25) Out of here, guys!
(26) But you said you'd let me live! Too true!
(27) And so you shall! Nothing's better than live bait to trap a bat.
(28) Hot entrance.
(29) Two-Face?
(30) Two guards are dead.
(31) He's holding a third hostage. Didn't see this one coming.
(32) We should have.
(33) The Second Bank of Gotham
(34) Second anniversary of the day I captured him.
(35) How could he resist?
(36) I'm Chase Meridian.
(37) I asked her to come here to consult on the case. She specializes in
(38) Abnormal psychology, multiple personalities. I read your work.
(39) Insightful.
(40) Naive, but insightful.
(41) I'm flattered. Not every girl makes a superhero's night table.
(42) Can we reason with him?
(43) He's got innocent people up there. It won't do any good.
(44) He'll slaughter them without a thought. Agreed.
(45) A trauma powerful enough to create an alternate personality leaves one
(46) In a world where normal rules of right and wrong no longer apply.
(47) Exactly.
(48) Like you.
(49) I could write a hell of a paper on a man who dresses like a flying rodent.
(50) Bats aren't rodents, Dr. Meridian.
(51) Really? I didn't know that.
(52) You are interesting.
(53) And call me Chase.
(54) By the way, do you have a first name, or do I call you Bats?
(55) Let's start this party with a bang!
(56) Very punctual, even for his own funeral. Boys!
(57) Kill the Bat!
(58) Blast him!
(59) Open sesame.
(60) It's a trap!
(61) Attention citizens of fair Gotham!
(62) When we open that safe, we'll have everything we ever wanted:
(63) Enough cash to rain down upon fair Gotham, a glorious flood of chaos.
(64) And, of course...
(65), my boy, dead!
(66) It's boiling acid!
(67) For your dying pleasure, we are serving the acid that made us the men we are!
(68) No!
(69) Hold on. Yes!
(70) Haul away!
(71) Yes! Haul away!
(72) Give me your hand. Don't let go!
(73) I must borrow this.
(74) That's my hearing aid!
(75) Thanks.
(76) Wow! My shoes are melting!
(77) No more!
(78) Hang on.
(79) Hang on?
(80) Get him down.
(81) Get him down.
(82) Take it easy with him.
(83) You'll be all right. Just stay calm.
(84) This'll fix him!
(85) Hang on, Batty!
(86) Let's see.
(87) Yes!
(88) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Oh, happy day!
(89) Farewell forever to that...
(90) ...pointy-eared night rat!
(91) Face!
(92) You need help. Give it up.
(93) Have the good taste to die!
(94) See you!
(95) Despite a valiant effort last night by Batman...
(96) ...Harvey Two-Face is still at large and extremely dangerous.
(97) In other news today...
(98) ...billionaire Bruce Wayne extended his profit-sharing program...
(99) the employees of the successful electronics branch of Wayne Enterprises.
(100) Mr. Wayne.

(101) Your inspections are a departmental highlight.
(102) Oh, my God, it's him.
(103) I am a winner. I am a winner.
(104) I am a winner.
(105) I am a winner.
(106) Bioremediation. Alternative fuel.
(107) Mr. Wayne, look at that time.
(108) Perhaps we should get to R & D as soon as possible.
(109) Mister...?
(110) Oh, Bruce Wayne.
(111) No, that's my name. And you are?
(112) Nygma.
(113) Edward.
(114) Edward Nygma. You hired me personally.
(115) Just like I tell everyone.
(116) We've never actually met, but your name was on the hiring slip. I have it.
(117) I need that hand back.
(118) Oh, yes, of course.
(119) I'm sorry.
(120) It's just that...
(121)'re my idol.
(122) Back to work.
(123) And some people have been trying to keep us apart.
(124) Back to work.
(125) It's okay.
(126) What's on your mind?
(127) Precisely.
(128) What's on all our minds?
(129) Brain waves.
(130) The future...
(131) ...of Wayne Enterprises...
(132) brain waves.
(133) I must apologize, Mr. Wayne.
(134) I terminated his project today. It's okay.
(135) I have it!
(136) My invention...
(137) ...beams any TV signal directly into the human brain.
(138) By stimulating neurons, manipulating brain waves...
(139) ...this device makes the audience feel like they're inside the show.
(140) Why be brutalized by an uncaring world?
(141) Did you say "manipulating brain waves"?
(142) Yes.
(143) But...
(144) ...someone like you would never need it.
(145) Someone so...
(146) ...intelligent, witty and...
(147) ...charming.
(148) I need a bit of additional funding for human trials. Let me show you, please!
(149) Now, listen...
(150) ...I want a full set of technical schematics on this, okay?
(151) We'll be full partners in this, Bruce.
(152) Look at us! Two of a kind!
(153) You call my assistant, Margaret. She'll set something up.
(154) That's not...
(155) ...going to be good for me.
(156) I need an answer now.
(157) I think I deserve it.
(158) I'm sorry, then the answer is no.
(159) Tampering with people's brain waves...
(160) ...mind manipulation...
(161) just raises too many questions.
(162) Sorry.
(163) Thanks, keep up the good work. The factory looks great.
(164) All right, everyone!
(165) Back to work!
(166) We'll discuss this later!
(167) You were supposed to understand.
(168) I'll make you understand.
(169) Lock.
(170) Chair.
(171) I saw the signal.
(172) All is ready.
(173) Commissioner?
(174) He's at home.
(175) I sent the signal.
(176) What's wrong?
(177) Last night at the bank I noticed something about Two-Face:
(178) His coin.
(179) It's his Achilles' heel.
(180) It can be exploited.
(181) I know.
(182) You called me for this?
(183) The Batsignal is not a beeper.
(184) I wish I could say that my interest in you was...
(185) ...purely professional.
(186) Are you trying to get under my cape?
(187) A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
(188) It's the car, right? Chicks love it.
(189) What is it about the wrong kind of man?
(190) In grade school: guys with earrings.
(191) College: motorcycles, leather jackets.
(192) Now...
(193) rubber.
(194) Try a fireman. Less to take off.
(195) I don't mind the work. Pity I can't see behind the mask.
(196) We all wear masks.
(197) My life's an open book. You read?
(198) I don't blend in at a family picnic.
(199) We could give it a try. I'll bring the wine...
(200) bring your scarred psyche.
(201) Direct, aren't you?
(202) You like strong women.
(203) I've done my homework.
(204) Or do I need skintight vinyl and a whip?
(205) I haven't had much luck with women.
(206) Maybe you just haven't met the right woman.
(207) I saw the signal.
(208) What's going on? Nothing.
(209) False alarm.
(210) Are you sure?
(211) Women.
(212) Now I've got it!
(213) "Too many questions. There's too many questions.
(214) "Too many...."
(215) I'll show you it works!
(216) What the hell is going on here?
(217) I told you this project is terminated! I'm calling Security!
(218) Caffeine will kill you!
(219) Rise and shine, little guinea pig.
(220) What are you doing?
(221) Untie me!
(222) This won't hurt.
(223) At least, I don't think it will.
(224) What are you doing?
(225) You touch that switch and
(226) This?
(227) Losing resolution.
(228) More power!
(229) Edward Nygma...
(230) ...come on down!
(231) You're the next contestant on...
(232) ...Brain Drain!
(233) I'll take what's inside thick skull number one!
(234) What have we got for him?
(235) Oh, Stickley, I'm having a breakthrough!
(236) And a breakdown? Maybe!
(237) Nevertheless, I'm smarter. I'm a genius.
(238) No, several geniuses.
(239) A gaggle, a swarm...
(240) ...a flock of freaking Freuds!
(241) Riddle me this, Fred.
(242) What is everything to someone...
(243) ...and nothing to everyone else?
(244) Your mind, baby!
(245) Now mine pumps with the power of yours!
(246) "I'm sucking up your IQ
(247) "Vacuuming your cortex
(248) "Feeding off your brain"
(249) What a rush!
(250) What the hell just happened?
(251) A very surprising side effect.
(252) While you were mesmerized by my 3-D TV...
(253) ...I utilized your neural energy to grow smarter.
(254) Bruce Wayne was right!
(255) You demented, bizarre, unethical toad!
(256) It is brain manipulation!
(257) I'm reporting you to the FCC!
(258) The human experimentation board! The AMI!
(259) And the police!
(260) You are going up on charges...
(261) court, to jail...
(262) ...and then to a mental institution for the rest of your life!
(263) But, first and foremost, Nygma, you are fired!
(264) Do you hear me? Fired!
(265) I don't think so.
(266) Help!
(267) Hang on!
(268) Babe!
(269) You are fired!
(270) Or should I say...
(271) ...terminated?
(272) Surf's up, Big Kahuna!
(273) Nice form, but rough on the landing.
(274) He may have to settle for the Bronze.
(275) "Questions," Mr. Wayne?
(276) My work raises too many questions?
(277) Why hasn't anybody...
(278) ...put you in your place?
(279) Harvey Dent, once Gotham's District Attorney...
(280) ...was horribly scarred by underworld kingpin, Boss Moroni.
(281) Although Batman tried to save him...
(282) ...Dent's left-brain damage turned him into a violent criminal...
(283) ...who blamed Batman and who has vowed to destroy him.
(284) Harvey Two-Face is extremely dangerous, repeat, extremely dangerous.
(285) That was the Commissioner.
(286) There's been an accident at Wayne Enterprises.
(287) Horrible way to die.
(288) The surveillance cameras are down here.
(289) We'll dredge the river, but with that current, I doubt we'll find the body.
(290) Why?
(291) Oh, why?
(292) I just can't believe it.
(293) Two years working in the same office.
(294) He was like my father...
(295) brother...
(296) ...or a cousin that visits a lot.
(297) Get a grip, Edward.
(298) I found this in my cubicle.
(299) You'll find the handwriting matches his, as does the sentence structure.
(300) I couldn't possibly continue on here.
(301) The memories....
(302) This is last night's security log.
(303) There's Stickley.
(304) Pretty cut and dry.
(305) Yes, definitely suicide.
(306) Thanks very much for your help, Bruce. We'll be in touch.
(307) Stickley's suicide doesn't make sense. I want full benefits for his family.
(308) Suicide's not covered by our corporate insurance policy.
(309) I know. Full benefits.
(310) Gossip Gerty called 32 times. Who are you taking to the Charity Circus?
(311) I'll let you know. What's this?
(312) I don't know.
(313) I didn't see anyone.
(314) "If you look at the numbers on my face...
(315) " won't find 13 anyplace."
(316) That's hideous.
(317) What does it mean?
(318) It's a riddle.
(319) "Numbers on my face...13."
(320) One through twelve.
(321) The answer is a clock.
(322) Who would send you a riddle?
(323) That, Maggie...
(324) the riddle.
(325) Guess what I did today?
(326) Wayne Manor.
(327) See you soon.
(328) Dr. Meridian, please. Thank you.
(329) I...guess I'm early.
(330) I have an appointment.
(331) I'm Bruce Wayne.
(332) Good.
(333) Then you can afford to buy me a new door.
(334) I'm sorry.
(335) You...sounded like you were in...
(336) know, trouble.
(337) I prefer healthy expressions of violence as opposed to breaking in.
(338) So...
(339) can I help you?
(340) Someone's been sending me love letters.
(341) One at my office and one at my home.
(342) Commissioner Gordon thought you might give me your opinion.
(343) A clock.
(344) Clock.
(345) "Tear one off and scratch my head.
(346) "What once was red is black instead."
(347) A match.
(348) My opinion: this letter writer is a wacko.
(349) "Wacko?"
(350) Is that a technical term?
(351) Patient may suffer from obsession...
(352) ...with potential homicidal tendencies. Is that better for you?
(353) So, what you're saying is...
(354) ...this guy's a total wacko.
(355) Exactly.
(356) He's obsessed with you.
(357) His only escape may be to purge the fixation.
(358) To kill me.
(359) I think you understand obsession better than you let on.
(360) You like bats?
(361) That's a Rorschach, Mr. Wayne.
(362) An inkblot.
(363) People see what they want.
(364) The question is: do you like bats?
(365) Still playing with dolls?
(366) She's a Malaysian dream warden.
(367) Some cultures believe she protects you from bad dreams.
(368) It's silly to you, I'm sure.
(369) You look so sad.
(370) Do you need one?
(371) Me? No. Why would I?
(372) You're not exactly what you seem, are you?
(373) What is it you really came here for?
(374) Yikes, time's up.
(375) That's usually my line.
(376) I'd love to stay here chatting
(377) Would you?
(378) I'm not so sure.
(379) I must get you out of those clothes.
(380) Excuse me?
(381) And into a black dress.
(382) Tell me, Doctor, do you like the circus?
(383) Ladies and gentlemen...
(384) ...boys and girls of all ages...
(385) ...welcome to the greatest show on earth!
(386) Who is this beautiful young woman you're with?
(387) Dr. Chase Meridian.
(388) A doctor?
(389) What kind of doctor?
(390) ...for Gotham Children's Hospital.
(391) Let's thank our largest single donor:
(392) Bruce Wayne!
(393) Ladies and gentlemen...
(394) ...70 feet above the ground...
(395) ...performing feats of unimaginable aerial skill...
(396) ...the Flying Graysons!
(397) Listen...
(398) ...I'm going rock climbing this weekend. Would you like to join me?
(399) I'd like to.
(400) I love climbing. I really love it.
(401) But?
(402) I've met someone.
(403) That's fast work. You just moved here.
(404) You could say he just...
(405) ...dropped out of the sky and...
(406) ...bang!
(407) I think he felt it too.
(408) He sure did.
(409) What?
(410) Who wouldn't?
(411) Now...
(412) ...Richard...
(413) ...the youngest Flying Grayson...
(414) ...will perform the awe-inspiring...
(415) ...death drop...
(416) ...without the safety...
(417) ...of a net!
(418) Let's go.
(419) You'll be okay.
(420) Ladies...
(421) ...and gentlemen!
(422) Now, the new management of the circus invites you to forget...
(423) ...this good, wholesome fun...
(424) ...and join us in a celebration of absolute chaos...
(425) ...and true jesters!
(426) Bring it on!
(427) Now!
(428) Tonight, a new act for your...
(429) ...personal amazement. We call it, "Massacre under the Big Top. "
(430) Let us direct your attention to the ring.
(431) Inside this harmless-looking orb are two...
(432) ...that's two hundred sticks of TNT.
(433) And in our innocent hand...
(434) ...a radio detonator.
(435) What do you want?
(436) Want, Mr. Mayor?
(437) One simple thing: Batman.
(438) Bruised, broken, bleeding...
(439) a word: dead!
(440) Batman.
(441) Who do we have before us?
(442) Gotham's finest...
(443) ...well-to-do...
(444) ...influential.
(445) Surely one of you knows who Batman is.
(446) Hell, odds are one of you pasty-faced twits is Batman!
(447) You have two minutes.
(448) Harvey!
(449) I'm Batman!
(450) We can stop them.
(451) Go out on the rigging.
(452) Be careful.
(453) Don't worry.
(454) Go to work, boys!
(455) Our kind of day.
(456) Reach for it! Stop it!
(457) Oh, my God.
(458) It's good you took him in. He hasn't anyone now.
(459) He's filled out papers all day. He hasn't slept or eaten.
(460) Welcome, Master Grayson.
(461) I'm Alfred.
(462) How're you doing, Al?
(463) There's a room prepared for you. But perhaps you'd like to eat first.
(464) Okay, I'm out of here.
(465) Excuse me?
(466) Telling that cop I'd stay here...
(467) ...saved me a lot of social-service interviews.
(468) So, no offense, but no thanks. See you.
(469) Take it easy.
(470) Where will you go? The circus must be halfway to Metropolis.
(471) Get a fix on Two-Face.
(472) Then I'll kill him.
(473) Killing Two-Face won't take the pain away.
(474) It'll make it worse.
(475) Spare me the sermons, all right?
(476) I don't need your advice or your charity.
(477) Nice bike.
(478) Hang out at a lot of biker bars?
(479) You're almost on empty.
(480) Fill it up in the garage. There's no gas station for miles.
(481) The pump's over here.
(482) Is this a garage or a car museum, Bruce?
(483) That's a 1917 Harley.
(484) Yep.
(485) Indian Classic, fully restored.
(486) This is a Vincent Black Knight.
(487) They only made a hundred.
(488) A hundred and one, actually. She's my favorite.
(489) You've got two.
(490) That one doesn't run.
(491) The throttle sticks on this one.
(492) Alfred's a good mechanic, but...
(493) ...these need a lot of work.
(494) If someone were to fix them up...
(495) ...they could keep one.
(496) Anyway...
(497) ...have a nice trip.
(498) You'll land on your feet.
(499) Is the young master leaving?
(500) Pity.
(501) I'll just toss this away then. Perhaps the dogs are hungry.
(502) Hey, Al, wait up.
(503) Master Bruce?
(504) Just like my parents.
(505) It's happening again.
(506) A monster comes out of the night, a scream, two shots.
(507) I killed them.
(508) What did you say?
(509) He killed them.
(510) Two-Face.
(511) He slaughtered that boy's parents.
(512) No, no.
(513) You said, "I killed them."
(514) Take care of the kid.
(515) Certainly, sir.
(516) Can I help you settle in, Master Grayson?
(517) No.
(518) Thanks, I won't be staying long.
(519) Is this a robin?
(520) My brother's wire broke once and I swung out and grabbed him.
(521) My father said I was his hero.
(522) I flew in like a robin.
(523) Some hero I turned out to be.
(524) But your father was right.
(525) You are a hero. I can tell.
(526) Throw this away, will you? I won't need it anymore.
(527) I think I'll just put it in here.
(528) Broken wings mend in time.
(529) One day Robin will fly again.
(530) I promise.
(531) We'll drive.
(532) The Puzzler?
(533) The Gamester?
(534) Captain Kill?
(535) Question Mark Man?
(536) Thank you. Thank you so much.
(537) The Bat's stubborn refusal to expire...
(538) driving us insane!
(539) Don't worry, baby.
(540) You'll kill him soon.
(541) Besides...
(542) ...I made your favorite:
(543) Sparkling champagne and...
(544) ...yummy poached salmon with little quail eggs and...
(545) ...a creamy...
(546) ...dreamy...
(547) ...lemon soufflé.
(548) No, I made your favorite:
(549) A charred heart of black boar...
(550) ...a side of raw donkey meat...
(551) ...and a Sterno and grain alcohol, straight up, baby!
(552) Perfect!
(553) Ladies, you spoil us!
(554) We're of two minds about what to eat first.
(555) What?
(556) I hope you made extra.
(557) Who the hell are you?
(558) Just a friend.
(559) But you can call me...
(560) ...The Riddler.
(561) I'll call you dead, is more like it! How did you find us? Talk!
(562) But then if I talked, what would keep you from slaying me, O Segregated One?
(563) That's never going to heal if you don't stop picking.
(564) Let's see if you bleed green.
(565) It's not me you want to kill.
(566) That's just too easy for someone as powerful as you and...
(568) But Batman...
(569) ...there's a challenge.
(570) Kill the Bat! Sounds like a good idea.
(571) But have you thought it through? A few bullets, a splash of blood, then what?
(572) Wet hands.
(573) Post-homicidal depression.
(574) Why not humiliate him first?
(575) Yeah.
(576) Expose his frailties. Then, when he is at his weakest...
(577) ...crush him!
(578) I see that...
(579) ...sparkle in your left eye.
(580) I can help you get Batman.
(581) That is, if you'II...
(582) ...spare my life for just a few moments.
(583) Thank you.
(584) I love what you've done with this place. Heavy Metal meets House and Garden.
(585) Beautiful.
(586) It's so dark and Gothic and...
(587) ...disgustingly decadent.
(588) Yet so bright and chipper and...
(589) ...conservative.
(590) It's so you!
(591) And yet, so you!
(592) Very few people are both a summer and a winter, but...
(593) ...but you pull it off nicely.
(594) What's the point?
(595) Has anyone ever told you, you have a serious impulse-control problem?
(596) This is the point.
(597) This is how I found you.
(598) Let me demonstrate.
(599) This is your brain on The Box.
(600) This is my brain on The Box.
(601) Does anyone else feel like a fried egg?
(602) I'll have more.
(603) There's more. But only the first one's free.
(604) Here's the bargain:
(605) You'll help me steal production capital...
(606) I can put a Box on every TV in town...
(607) ...and become Gotham's cleverest, carbon-based life form!
(608) And in return....
(609) Is everybody paying attention?
(610) I will help you solve the greatest riddle of all.
(611) The mother of all riddles:
(612) Who is...
(613) ...Batman?
(614) You broke into our hideout.
(615) You violated the sanctity of our lair.
(616) We should crush your bones into powder.
(617) But you pose an interesting proposition.
(618) Therefore, heads: we accept, and tails: we blow your damn head off.
(619) Here's a good one.
(620) No, no, no!
(621) There is a good one.
(622) Leave that. I'll attend to it. I'm not used to being waited on.
(623) Don't shoot me!
(624) Don't eyeball me! Give me that!
(625) Two-Face, show me how to punch a guy!
(626) It's dead simple, my boy. Ball up your fist, reach back...
(627) ...and assert yourself.
(628) That looks fun. Let me try.
(629) Ball up the fist, reach way back... assert yourself.
(630) One hundred thousand, two hundred and twenty.
(631) One hundred and....
(632) I lost count!
(633) Last night another robbery, perpetrated by the Green-Suited Menace...
(634) ...resulting in millions in diamonds stolen, with no sign of Batman.
(635) Teamed with Two-Face, this new criminal's pattern...
(636) ...of marking his crimes with puzzles has Gothamites calling him The Riddler.
(637) Apparently, you and Batman have a common enemy.
(638) That was with the morning mail.
(639) "The eight of us go forth, not back.
(640) "To protect our king from the foe's attack."
(641) Chess pawns.
(642) Clock.
(643) Matches.
(644) All physical, man-made objects.
(645) Small in size, light in weight.
(646) What's the connection?
(647) With all due respect, that's why they call him The Riddler.
(648) May I help you?
(649) Why is this the only locked door?
(650) What's back there?
(651) Master Wayne's dead wives.
(652) The silver closet. On your way.
(653) Now, you can be part of the action!
(654) Nygma Tech brings the joy of 3-D entertainment into your home!
(655) Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you...
(656) vision.
(657) The Box in every home in America...
(658) ...and one day, the world!
(659) In local news, Edward Nygma's 3-D Box...
(660) ...has become the rage of Gotham.
(661) Rioting occurred last night at electronic stores that were sold out.
(662) There is hardly a home without the Nygma Tech Box.
(663) Critics claim The Box turns Gothamites into zombies.
(664) But Edward Nygma just shrugs.
(665) "That's what they said when TV was invented. "
(666) Master Dick!
(667) Up here.
(668) Just checking, young sir.
(669) Intruder alert. Intruder alert.
(670) I have something for you. It's on the table.
(671) I hope you like it.
(672) Call it clinical intuition.
(673) I thought your dreams needed changing.
(674) My parents were murdered before me...
(675) ...when I was a kid.
(676) I don't...
(677) ...remember a lot of what happened, but...
(678) ...what I do comes to me in my dreams. Flashes.
(679) There's a new element now, though, I haven't seen before.
(680) It's a red leather book.
(681) Something else....
(682) My dreams come to me when I'm awake now.
(683) Bruce, you're describing repressed memories.
(684) Images of a forgotten pain that's trying to surface.
(685) I'll be right back.
(686) Is it possible there's an aspect of your parents' death you haven't faced?
(687) You were so young when it happened.
(688) Maybe I should leave you two alone.
(689) This goes way beyond taking your work home, doesn't it?
(690) All right.
(691) I think he's fascinating.
(692) Clinically.
(693) Why does a man do this?
(694) It's as if he's cursed to pay a penance.
(695) What crime could he have committed to deserve a life of nightly torture?
(696) It's more than just...
(697) ...professional interest, isn't it, Chase?
(698) Bruce, are you jealous?
(699) No.
(700) I can't be jealous of Batman.
(701) I want to be close, but you won't let me near.
(702) What are you protecting me from?
(703) Do you want to know me?
(704) Do you want to know who I am?
(705) I guess...
(706) ...we're all two people.
(707) The one in daylight, and the one we keep in shadow.
(708) Rage...
(709) ...violence...
(710) ...passion.
(711) Excuse me.
(712) I'm busy.
(713) I'm sorry to bother you. I have some distressing news about Dick.
(714) Is he okay?
(715) I'm afraid Master Dick has gone traveling.
(716) He ran away?
(717) Actually, he took the car.
(718) He boosted the Jag?
(719) Not the Jaguar.
(720) The other car.
(721) The Bentley?
(722) No, sir.
(723) The other car.
(724) Come for a little ride in my love machine, babies?
(725) It's Batman!
(726) Open up, Batman.
(727) Wait!
(728) That's not Batman!
(729) What do you mean?
(730) That's Batboy!
(731) It ain't the Bat!
(732) Let her go!
(733) Who the hell are you?
(734) I'm Batman.
(735) I forgot my suit, all right?
(736) Come on, run!
(737) Doesn't Batman ever kiss the girl?
(738) Go!
(739) Thanks, you saved my life!
(740) I could definitely get into this superhero gig.
(741) Batman!
(742) Bastard!
(743) It should've been you!
(744) If you had told Two-Face who you were at the circus...
(745) ...they'd still be alive!
(746) If Bruce Wayne could've given his life for your family, he would have.
(747) All I can think about every day is getting Two-Face.
(748) He took my whole life.
(749) When I was out there tonight...
(750) ...I imagined it was him I was fighting...
(751) ...even when I was fighting you...
(752) ...and the pain went away.
(753) Do you understand?
(754) Yes, I do.
(755) Good.
(756) You must help me find him.
(757) When we do...
(758) ...I'm the one who kills him.
(759) So, you're willing to take a life?
(760) As long as it's Two-Face.
(761) Then it will happen this way:
(762) You make the kill.
(763) But your pain doesn't die with Harvey, it grows.
(764) So you run into the night to find another face, and another...
(765) ...and another...
(766) ...until one terrible morning you wake up and realize...
(767) ...that revenge has become your whole life...
(768) ...and you won't know why.
(769) You can't understand.
(770) Your family wasn't killed by a maniac.
(771) Yes, they were.
(772) We're the same.
(773) If we're the same, help me. Train me, let me be your partner.
(774) No.
(775) I can't.
(776) You still have a choice.
(777) Look, Bruce...
(778) ...I'm a part of this, whether you like it or not.
(779) Tonight all of Gotham society has turned out for Edward Nygma's...
(780) ...gala unveiling of his New Improved Box.
(781) Thanks, Al.
(782) My pleasure, sir.
(783) They'll be dining and dancing the night away...
(784) ...on the glamorous roof of the Ritz Gotham.
(785) What's it like to have your face on the cover of every magazine?
(786) Edward, how does it feel to be the city's newest, most-eligible bachelor?
(787) Gotham must know!
(788) There's Bruce Wayne!
(789) Brucie!
(790) Oh, Eddie, he is too cute!
(791) How come you don't look so good in that suit?
(792) Shut up. You're here to work!
(793) How's my mole?
(794) Fine.
(795) What about rumors of a Nygma Tech takeover of Wayne Enterprises?
(796) Nygma Tech stock is outselling Wayne Enterprises two to one.
(797) Are you yesterday's news, Bruce?
(798) Bruce, old man.
(799) The press wonders what it's like to be outsold, outclassed, out-coifed and...
(800) ...generally outdone in every way.
(801) Hello, Edward. Congratulations.
(802) Great party. Nice suit.
(803) Wit. Good.
(804) And you are?
(805) Chase.
(806) And what a grand pursuit you must be.
(807) I'm Bruce Wayne, Miss...?
(808) You can call me anything you want.
(809) Ladies and gentlemen...
(810) ...the future!
(811) My New Improved Box offers fully-interactive holographic fantasies.
(812) Edward, you're dashing and a genius.
(813) How do you create these images, hon?
(814) That, my dear, is my little secret.
(815) Fully-interactive holographs.
(816) Only a high-frequency carrier wave, beamed into the brain...
(817) ...could create such images.
(818) And you wish you thought of it.
(819) Don't be a sore loser.
(820) Step inside. Give it a try.
(821) If you can introduce images into the mind, what stops you from...
(822) ...extracting images out of the mind?
(823) Too timid to try my machine? Just say so.
(824) Shall we dance?
(825) Naughty, naughty.
(826) Looking for something?
(827) I was just wondering how you turn it off.
(828) Clever.
(829) Thanks.
(830) My pleasure.
(831) Good evening, Mr. Wayne.
(832) Relax.
(833) Tell me your...
(834) ...dreams.
(835) Tell me...
(836) ...your fantasies.
(837) Tell me your secrets.
(838) Tell me...
(839) ...your deepest...
(840) ...darkest...
(841) ...fears.
(842) Relax, folks!
(843) It's only an old-fashioned, low-tech stickup!
(844) We're interested in the basics:
(845) Cash, jewelry, cellular telephones.
(846) Hand them over nice and quietly, and no one will be hurt!
(847) Emergency, Alfred.
(848) Yes, sir.
(849) Be calm, everybody!
(850) Just stay calm!
(851) Excuse me!
(852) You're ruining my big party! Are you insane?
(853) We're sick of waiting for you to deliver Batman.
(854) Patience, O Bifurcated One.
(855) Patience, hell! We want him dead!
(856) And nothing brings out the Batman like a little murder and mayhem!
(857) You could have let me in on the caper.
(858) We could have organized it, planned it, pre-sold the movie rights!
(859) Your entrance was good, his was better.
(860) The difference?
(861) Showmanship!
(862) Emergency, Alfred.
(863) Oh, sir....
(864) I could be fired for this.
(865) Perhaps they'll have me back at Buckingham Palace.
(866) All right, boys! Phase Two!
(867) My place, midnight.
(868) Nothing like a bad case of gas!
(869) Why can't you just die?
(870) Hi.
(871) What were you doing?
(872) You got a real gratitude problem, you know that?
(873) I need a name. Batboy? Knight Wing?
(874) What's a good sidekick name?
(875) "Dick Grayson, college student."
(876) Screw you!
(877) I saved your life. You owe me.
(878) You're going to get yourself killed.
(879) I'm your new partner.
(880) No!
(881) Whenever you go out at night, I'll be watching. Where Batman goes, I'll go.
(882) How will you stop me?
(883) I can stop you.
(884) Hang this next to the Batsuit...
(885) ...where it belongs.
(886) You're encouraging him.
(887) Young men with a mind for revenge need little encouragement.
(888) They need guidance.
(889) You, above all, should know the consequences of the life you choose.
(890) Even Chase calls being Batman a curse.
(891) Perhaps the lady is just what the doctor ordered.
(892) She seems lovely and wise.
(893) I've never been in love before.
(894) Go to her.
(895) Tell her how you feel.
(896) She wants Batman, not Bruce Wayne.
(897) Let her decide.
(898) I'm sorry.
(899) I can't believe this.
(900) I've imagined this moment since I first saw you.
(901) Your eyes...
(902) ...your lips...
(903) ...your body.
(904) Now I have you and...
(905) ...I'm wishing you were somebody else.
(906) I guess a girl has to grow up sometime.
(907) I've met someone.
(908) He's not you.
(909) I hope you can understand.
(910) I understand.
(911) Well....
(912) That's just what I said.
(913) Then I taught my doggie a new trick:
(914) How to map the human mind.
(915) Would you like to see what Bruce Wayne has in his head?
(916) Riddle me this:
(917) What kind of man...
(918) ...has bats on the brain?
(919) Go ahead. You can say it. You're a genius.
(920) Oh, stop.
(921) So, from this day on...
(922) ...Batman is no more.
(923) You can't just quit.
(924) There's monsters out there. Batman has to protect the innocent.
(925) I've dedicated my life to helping strangers I've never met.
(926) Faces I've never seen.
(927) Well...
(928) ...the innocent aren't faceless anymore.
(929) You can't tell me what to do with the rest of my life.
(930) My dad told me that every man goes his own way.
(931) My way goes to Two-Face.
(932) You must help me.
(933) And if you do find Harvey...
(934) ...and then you kill him...
(935) ...what next?
(936) Exactly.
(937) Then you'd be alone, like me.
(938) No, you must let this go.
(939) Listen to me, I'm your friend.
(940) I don't need a friend, I need a partner.
(941) Two-Face has got to pay.
(942) Please.
(943) Chase is coming for dinner. I'm going to tell her...
(944) ...everything.
(945) Come upstairs. We'll talk.
(946) Good evening. Good evening.
(947) Happy Halloween.
(948) Happy Halloween to you.
(949) I asked you here tonight because there's something I wanted to tell you.
(950) I wanted to tell you something too.
(951) What I wanted
(952) Go ahead, you first.
(953) Trick or treat!
(954) All my life I have been...
(955) ...attracted to a certain kind of man.
(956) The wrong kind.
(957) Look at what I do for a living.
(958) And since...
(959) ...since I met you, I....
(960) Oh, God.
(961) Why am I so nervous?
(962) Don't eat too much tonight or you'll be sick in your beds.
(963) Happy Halloween!
(964) What's wrong?
(965) It's happening again.
(966) Flashes.
(967) My parents' death.
(968) Your memories are trying to break through.
(969) I want to tell you something.
(970) Something I've never told anyone.
(971) It's all right.
(972) It's all right. I'm here.
(973) I'm here.
(974) The night of my parents' wake...
(975) ...the priest's words gave no comfort.
(976) Of course.
(977) There, on my father's desk...
(978) ...the red book.
(979) His journal.
(980) He'd written in it every day.
(981) But now he'd never write in it again.
(982) At that moment I knew...
(983) life would never be the same.
(984) I raced out into the storm...
(985) ...trying to outrun the rage.
(986) The pain.
(987) Then I fell.
(988) I fell forever.
(989) The cave was monstrous.
(990) It must have been there for centuries.
(991) And there...
(992) ...deep in the shadows...
(993) ...I saw....
(994) It was coming toward me.
(995) I was scared at first, but only at first.
(996) The figure in the dark was my destiny.
(997) It would change my life forever.
(998) I would use its image to strike terror into the hearts of those who did evil.
(999) I would ensure what happened to me would never happen to anyone else.
(1000) I would have my revenge.
(1001) What are you trying to tell me?
(1002) I'm....
(1003) Twick or tweet!
(1004) Trick.
(1005) Remember the plan?
(1006) Seize and capture.
(1007) No killing.
(1008) That goes double for you.
(1009) If I was a superhero...
(1010) ...where would I hide?
(1011) Spank me.
(1012) Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
(1013) Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
(1014) Shut up!
(1015) Now, that's impressive!
(1016) It's always risky introducing a tamed animal into the wild.
(1017) They may have trouble adapting to their new environment.
(1018) Somebody tell the fat lady...
(1019) ...she's on in five.
(1020) "Joygasm! "
(1021) Get the girl!
(1022) Don't kill him.
(1023) If you kill him...
(1024) ...he won't learn nothing.
(1025) Master Bruce!
(1026) How are you, young man?
(1027) You haven't called me that for a long time.
(1028) Old habits die hard.
(1029) Are you all right?
(1030) Where's Chase?
(1031) I'm afraid they've taken her.
(1032) Master Dick has run away.
(1033) The cave has been destroyed.
(1034) And there's another riddle.
(1035) I'm coming, my sweet.
(1036) Like the jacket?
(1037) It keeps me safe when I'm...
(1038) ...jogging at night.
(1039) Batman will come for me.
(1040) Batman?
(1041) Batman, you say?
(1042) Coming for you?
(1043) I'm...
(1044) ...counting on it.
(1045) What is that? Where's it coming from?
(1046) There!
(1047) Who's doing that?
(1048) The Riddler!
(1049) "We're five little items of an everyday sort.
(1050) "You'll find us all in a tennis court."
(1051) In....
(1052) A-E-l-O-U.
(1053) Vowels.
(1054) Not entirely unclever, sir.
(1055) But what do a clock, a match, chess pawns...
(1056) ...and vowels have in common? What do these riddles mean?
(1057) Every riddle contains a number and they arrived in this order:
(1058) 13, 1, 8...
(1059) ...and 5.
(1060) 13, 1, 8 and 5.
(1061) Meaning?
(1062) Letters of the alphabet?
(1063) Of course, 13 is M.
(1064) 1 would be A, 8 would be H and 5 would be E.
(1065) M-A-H-E.
(1066) Perhaps 1 and 8 are 18.
(1067) 18 is R.
(1068) M-R-E.
(1069) How about...
(1070) ..."Mr. E"?
(1071) Mystery? Another name for mystery?
(1072) Enigma.
(1073) Mr. E. Nygma.
(1074) Edward Nygma.
(1075) Stickley's suicide was obviously a computer-generated forgery.
(1076) You really are quite bright, despite what people say.
(1077) Are all the Batsuits destroyed?
(1078) All except the prototype with the sonar modifications. But it's not tested.
(1079) Tonight's a good night.
(1080) What do you suggest? By sea...
(1081) ...or by air?
(1082) Why not both?
(1083) Who's your tailor?
(1084) I took the liberty, sir.
(1085) "R?"
(1086) What's that stand for?
(1087) Robin.
(1088) Riddler and Two-Face can make a pretty lethal combination.
(1089) You could use a hand.
(1090) Two against two are better odds.
(1091) I can't promise I won't kill Harvey.
(1092) "A man's got to go his own way."
(1093) A friend taught me that.
(1094) Not just a friend.
(1095) A partner.
(1096) He's not coming.
(1097) Shut it down.
(1098) Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
(1099) Hey, go!
(1100) A-14.
(1101) Hit!
(1102) Sweet!
(1103) B-12.
(1104) Hit!
(1105) My favorite vitamin.
(1106) That sinking feeling.
(1107) I like this game.
(1108) C-9.
(1109) You sunk my battleship!
(1110) Who, me?
(1111) This is your captain speaking.
(1112) Please return to your seats. We will be experiencing turbulence.
(1113) I got him!
(1114) I hope they can find the little black box.
(1115) Now...
(1116) ...the real game begins.
(1117) Holy rusted metal, Batman!
(1118) The ground, it's all metal.
(1119) It's full of holes: holey.
(1120) Wait!
(1121) The whole island's moving!
(1122) Looking for us?
(1123) That was for my mother!
(1124) My father!
(1125) My brother!
(1126) And this is for me!
(1127) Finally, justice is served!
(1128) Let us die!
(1129) You're a man after our own heart, son!
(1130) I'll see you in hell!
(1131) I'd rather see you in jail!
(1132) Oh, good boy. Good boy.
(1133) The Bat's taught you well.
(1134) Noble.
(1135) Stupid...
(1136) ...but noble.
(1137) Riddle me this.
(1138) Riddle me that.
(1139) Who's afraid of the big black bat?
(1140) No more tricks, Edward.
(1141) Very well, then.
(1142) Let's get real.
(1143) Release Chase. This is between you and me.
(1144) And me...
(1145) ...and me!
(1146) You've sucked Gotham's brain waves and now you've devised a way to read minds.
(1147) You betcha!
(1148) Soon my little Box will be on countless TV's around the world...
(1149) ...feeding me credit-card numbers...
(1150) codes...
(1151) ...sexual fantasies...
(1152) ...and little white lies.
(1153) Into my head they'll go.
(1154) Victory is inevitable.
(1155) For if knowledge is power...
(1156) ...then a god...
(1158) ...I!
(1159) Was that over the top? I can never tell.
(1160) By the way, I've seen your mind. Freak!
(1161) Yours is the greatest riddle of all!
(1162) Can Bruce Wayne and Batman ever truly coexist?
(1163) We'll find out today!
(1164) But first, let's meet our contestants.
(1165) Behind curtain...
(1166) ...number one...
(1167) ...the absolutely fabulous Dr. Chase Meridian!
(1168) She enjoys hiking, manicures...
(1169) ...and foolishly hopes to be the love of Bruce's life.
(1170) Behind curtain number two...
(1171) ..."Fatman's" one and only partner.
(1172) This acrobat turned orphan...
(1173) ...likes Saturday-morning cartoons and dreams of one day being...
(1174) ...bare-naked with a girl.
(1175) And below these contestants...
(1176) personal favorite:
(1177) A watery grave.
(1178) Just one little touch...
(1179) ...and five seconds later these two players are...
(1180) ...gull feed on the rocks below.
(1181) Not enough time to save them both.
(1182) Which one will it be, Batman?
(1183) Bruce's love?
(1184) Or the Dark Knight's junior partner?
(1185) There is no way for me to save them or myself.
(1186) It's all one giant death-trap.
(1187) Judges?
(1188) I'm sorry. Your answer must be in the form of a question.
(1189) But thank you for playing.
(1190) Wait!
(1191) I have a riddle for you.
(1192) For me?
(1193) Really?
(1194) Tell me.
(1195) I see without seeing.
(1196) To me, darkness is as clear as daylight.
(1197) What am I?
(1198) Please!
(1199) You're as blind as a bat!
(1200) Exactly.
(1201) Bummer!
(1202) Thanks.
(1203) All those heroics for nothing.
(1204) No more riddles, no more curtains one and two.
(1205) Just plain curtains!
(1206) Aren't you forgetting something?
(1207) Your coin.
(1208) You're always of two minds.
(1209) Yes, of course. You're right.
(1210) Emotion's always the enemy of true justice.
(1211) You've always been a good friend.
(1212) Why?
(1213) Why can't I...
(1214) ...kill you?
(1215) Too many questions.
(1216) Too many questions.
(1217) Poor Edward.
(1218) I had to save them both.
(1219) You see, I'm both Bruce Wayne and Batman.
(1220) Not because I have to be.
(1221) Now...
(1222) ...because I choose to be.
(1223) Thank you for responding to my request for a consultation, Dr. Meridian.
(1224) Edward Nygma...
(1225) ...has been screaming for hours that he knows the true identity...
(1226) ...of Batman.
(1227) Edward?
(1228) Who...
(1229) it?
(1230) It's Dr. Meridian. Chase.
(1231) Do you remember me?
(1232) How could I forget?
(1233) Dr. Burton tells me...
(1234) know who Batman is.
(1235) I can't tell you if you don't say, "please."
(1236) Edward, please.
(1237) Who is Batman?
(1238) I'm...
(1239) ...Batman.
(1240) Your secret is safe.
(1241) He is definitely a wacko.
(1242) "Wacko?"
(1243) Is that a technical term?
(1244) Listen...
(1245) ...I won't need this anymore.
(1246) Thank you for giving me a new dream.

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